Fighting a battle with himself and with society, the summer before high school, senior Connor Grimsley changed his life, and the lives of those around him.
Around age 14 most teens begin to discover their identity, the things that make them unique. For Grimsley it was a never ending search.
“I felt misplaced, I felt sort of like I wasn’t who I was supposed to be. I was distanced from others because I couldn’t even feel my own self. I was sad and I didn’t know who I was. I hated myself to sum it up,” Grimsley said.
Growing up he always knew he was different. He was more interested in boy activities than girl activities. He was not interested in Barbie dolls and did not play with them except for with his sisters. Even then he would only play with them if he could be Ken. He liked sports more than makeup or dresses. And he had more guy friends than girl friends. All of these were examples of what made him different. But it was after watching a youtuber who was transgender named Benton the summer before his freshman year of high school, Grimsley understood why he may be different.
He said what the youtuber was saying made sense and applied to him. He realized then that he might be transgender too.
“Looking back, all the signs were there that Connor was transgender, I just didn’t get the clue. He hated dresses…pink and purple were not- allowed in his wardrobe. More often than not I was buying clothes in the boys section from age six on because that’s what he liked to wear,” Grimsley’s mother, Christy McClary, said.
Being transgender was still a fairly new idea in society and it was not something many people talked about. It wasn’t until around 2015 that it started becoming a conversation topic. Grimsley had no idea his family’s views on being transgender and the thought of what his family was going to think was something he couldn’t fathom.
“When I came out to my mom, she was supportive about it. She told all of our family over Facebook. My grandma unfriended her, called her a horrible mother. My uncle stopped talking to us, my aunt, my entire moms’ side of the family stopped talking to me and my mom. But my dad’s family, on the other hand, was 100% supportive,” Grimsley said.
Although expressing who he was and his transition caused him to lose half of his family, that did not hold him back. He has a tremendous amount of support from the rest of his loved ones. And his peers are also very supportive.
“I got treated with more respect, and I wasn’t talked down to anymore. Like you know the whole mansplaining thing, that never happens to me now. And when I approach another guy they automatically reach their hand out to shake my hand where as before they wouldn’t shake my hand,” he said.
Everything really started to change in Grimsley’s life after he came out. He changed his name, was able to express himself freely as the person he knew himself to be by dressing the way he wanted to and participating in things he enjoy wanted to. People even saw him differently than before. He was not a shy, introverted middle schooler anymore. He was outgoing and vibrant to those around him.