Chucky 

  Starting strong with a plastic demonic toy. This 30-inch-tall ginger could never get me. I mean, really, how hard is it to kick the little twerp? Yeah, sure, he has weapons and voodoo, but he could never catch or outrun me. He would be sold immediately after the first creepy moment, not that I would ever buy a human-like doll in the first place. I’d be profiting off of him, not dying. 

Ghost Face

  I have never answered my phone from an unknown number, and I do not plan on starting to. I also don’t even own a landline. He won’t be able to do his whole “Do you like scary movies?” spiel if he’s hearing my voicemail. Even if I did, why would I open the door and investigate when the voice on the phone is telling me he’s looking at me alone in my house? I’m calling the police, not solving the mystery. This isn’t Scooby Doo. 

The Conjuring 

  Not necessarily a specific villain, but I know I’d survive any of these movies. If I have even a sense of something ghostly in my home, I’m moving, and there’s no way around it. I’m leaving those spirits alone and not touching that. You would find me on a plane across the country at the first cabinet slam. Then I’m having that house burned down and mowed over. No hesitation. 

Leatherface 

  From the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, this creep will not be victimizing me. First of all, why would I ever step foot into an abandoned house in a ghost town? That’s asking for trouble, and I would also never split up from my group, as teamwork is the key to living in these movies. Clearly the people in these movies have no survival instincts. 

   Most of these could be solved by moving out of town or not putting yourself in a risky situation in the first place. Of course, I still love these movies and watch them every year. Half the fun is yelling at the screen when a character does something idiotic, like tripping over their own feet.